This is the book which instantly became a best seller in Australia and in the UK, and is now sold in nine countries: Australia, New Zealand, Holland, Belgium, the United Kingdom, Indonesia, Portugal, Poland and Russia. In Germany, the title is Einmal Holle und Zuruck.

God’s Callgirl is a true story of how a Catholic girl first became a nun then a callgirl, four years after leaving the convent. She made those drastic life choices from a background of sexual abuse that lay in her subconscious awareness until it could no longer be denied. Carla’s journey of healing has been an inspiration to many thousands of readers.

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God’s Callgirl Readers’ Comments

Dear Carla,

Thank you so much for your e-mail.

Yes, emotions and memories have come up, lots of them suppressed, wanting to be acknowledged, and then released.

I have also noticed patterns of my own negative behaviour that I have never noticed before but have been there for years.

Since these patterns no longer serve me I am learning to replace them with more appropriate choices.

The meditation is perfect, on the mornings I wake up a little earlier to do this it is certainly well worth it!

My self esteem, value and assertiveness improved dramatically and immediately after the session with you.

I have noticed myself making choices where I am no longer a victim. I have almost been shocked and my new found assertiveness too!

This is wonderful and seems to be coming naturally to me now, something I have never been able to do for years.

I really feel like I am going through some major “renovations” in my life.

Thank you for being a part of the healing process.

I will be travelling for a while and will settle into Asia within the next few weeks.

Then I can arrange some Skype sessions with you,

Best regards,
Alia
27/07/2010

Dear Carla,

I love the look and feel of your Astarte Newsletter. It is really beautiful. Thank you.

Hugs

Melanie.
26/07/2010

Gezien nog Engels nog Nederlands mijn moedertaal zijn was ik even in de war in welke taal ik zou reageren. Maar omdat ik u boek [sinds twee minuten week ik, dat er meer boeken van u bestaan... ] in het Nederlands heb gelezen is het dus Nederlands.

Ik wil eigenlijk alleen bedanken, dat ik dit boek mocht lezen. – Het heeft mij diep geraakt en het heeft mij wat kracht gegeven ook verder op zoek naar me zelf en mijn ziel en mijn “binnenvrede” te gaan.

Ik ben begonnen het te lezen omdat ik als kind ook misbruikservaringen heb moeten meemaken en mar pas sinds twee jaar erover ben gaan praten [ik ben nu 37]. Ik heb dus heel veel dingen in u verhaal herkent en kon met u meeleven.

HARTSTIKKE BEDANKT DUS !

Groetjes uit het verre Duitsland, waar wij op het moment bijna australische zomer-temperaturen hebben .

JÖRN
22/07/2010

Carla,

I have just completed reading your book, God’s Call Girl. Initially I picked it off a shelf in a junk store and decided to pay the $3 for it just to read about a Nun becoming a sex worker. I couldn’t seem to put the book down. Being raised a Catholic and being taught by the Sisters of St Joseph in NZ during my formative years I was able to relate to a lot of the things that you wrote of in the first part of your book.

I finished the book this morning and I have only just stopped crying. I feel like the book was written especially for me. I have been married twice and in many short term relationships with many many women. I have been through the “Born Again Christian” experience and many other metaphysical experiences.

I am a 50 yr old male and although I am not very eloquent, I do want to say,

“Thank you”.
Darcy
14/07/2010

Dear Carla

I am almost finished God’s Call Girl and am amazed you are an amazing human being.

I think this book should be used in the school syllabus world wide I believe its honest raw emotions will teach young girls a lot and also give huge confidence boosts and teaches life is for living.

I am 27 I have been married to a man 17 yrs older than me for 8 yrs we have a 6 yr old boy who I love and adore but reading your book and all your adventures whether good or bad makes me realise I am wasting away being unhappy, for the sake of myself and my son I need to change that if you can get through all that I can move on with my son and give him a happy life (although I won’t be joining the nuns!).

It also made want to move to Oz.

Can’t wait to start The Price of Passion.

It was also great to put a face to the story.

Thank you
Toni x
11/07/2010

Hi Carla,

I’ve just completed your book “God’s Callgirl”, wow what a great read, you did a fantastic job, well done. It must have taken a lot of perseverance. I was inspired by your courage and honesty. And I must say not a little bit confronted by the sexual explicitness, and how you dealt with your life in the sex industry. I’m looking forward to our survey together to see what comes up for me in all that – I think I have some way to go in dealing with my own perceptions and attitudes about sex. I’m also dealing with my own stuff around intimacy. I am really striving to let from my heart, not my head.

The book was timely for me, I took a couple of days away from Perth and stayed in a bush cottage near Busselton – I needed to do some deep reflection of my own. I found your journey very similar to one I’m on, but I still have a way to go before I reach a place of inner peace and self-acceptance, but I’m working on it. Time by myself away from family and work was very cleansing and renewing.

Anyway, your book was a great resource for someone on their own journey. Thank you for sharing your story.

I look forward to doing the survey with you, how is it going by the way?

Regards,

P.S. I’ve signed up for your newsletter, looking forward to reading those.

Tim
18/06/2010

Good morning Carla. (for you) good evening for me (that’s if the football wasn’t on of course)!!!! No Carla you do not know me. My family spent our main holiday in Gran Canaria in April I had finished a gripping fun novel too early and was bored senseless by the pool we visited a local Market and there was a charity bookstall I had a browse and damn it there was no English books then from the tattiest box the lady pulled out a book one she said….. Titled …. You’ve guessed it god’s callgirl!!!! Carla I couldn’t put it down….. It really really moved me life in a convent was or isn’t really what an expected I found that part really heavy…. My thoughts still on what I read and I couldn’t keep up with you at all. Ur girls I pray are so proud of you I’m sure despite your diverse careers!!!! I’m Reading well was reading another book but I’m still in the convent so a break for me….. Anyway I now see there a follow one so I will pick up that… I hope the sun shines on you always and when the time comes I know you have a place “upstairs” in a special corner for god’s girl!!!!! Best wishes Julie

I thought your FaceBook page might be like a fan/ web page … If it’s for only your previous friends I understand and apologise it’s just I was so moved I needed to make some contact . Never before have I felt the need I do hope it was ok with you Carla…. Sweet dreams until the morning……

Julie
13/06/2010

Hi Carla

I wondered how you set your security settings on face book so that only your picture shows and not your friends or anything else until you OK someone as a friend. I have ticked friends only box but face book appears to still be showing my friends but not other information better but not the whole banana.

You are looking wonderful and I appreciate your discussions a lot. There seems to me a growth in the true Self or Innocence and you are able to express it better and better. This is what I was missing in the first book I found that pivotal moment understated and not explained well enough. With the second book the attention is really on that One and grows with each chapter. I want to tell you how much I appreciate this; that we share this Knowledge of who and what we are is a Glad tidings to me To say I appreciate your success or am glad of it is true but it is really the fulfilment of the Innocence that thrills my Heart and brings me closer to you despite time and distance.

Love
Lynda
1/06/2010

Hi Carla

Thank you for your reply – I felt honour to receive it. I actually live in Melbourne and very close to many of the places you mention. My husband and I came here to retire and be with my daughter. In England we ran a natural health centre for 15 years – me with my counselling and he as a healer/masseur/reflexologist. As healing in those days was considered a little strange – England is way behind the thinking here although catching up now (desperation certainly makes people change their attitudes!!) – he took on the other practices to make the healing all the more comfortable to clients. I became a counsellor in the ’60s when I trained to be a teacher but found very quickly that I could not treat people in that way – drag up their crap, give them no idea how to deal with it and then exit them at 50 minutes irrespective of the emotional state they were in with no contact with me until their next appointment. I found it too cruel and heartless. I am a Cancerian and want to mother everyone so it did not work for me at all. So I started to incorporate the spiritual side that I had understood from a child. I use very simple astrology and numerology to get an idea of how a client would deal with a problematic situation and the numbers to get a fix on what is going on energetically currently. I would hope in some way to give them a different slant on their experience to reduce blame in either themselves or the other person and see responsibility instead. Then using guided visualisation where they create their own new truth the stages of power their thinking holds over them is very gently washed away. Seems to work very well and quite quickly and they are in charge of it rather than me pushing them to where I feel they should be. So many counsellors I have come across hold on to their clients either for their own ego, power or money and I feel clients have had the trauma so don’t add to it by keeping them prisoner in a different way. I feel forgiveness is the key – of the self and then from that space forgiving others is less difficult. It is for me one of the greatest teachings of Jesus – I am that I am.

If we think of all the time there has been and all the time that is to come the Divine (whatever you choose to call God) has chosen this time to grant each of us the opportunity to take up our choice to be here, being us. I believe that if He/She chose an individual soul to carry out that task then only that soul can do it. Only you ever could do the job of being Carla exploring through some amazing experiences exactly who you are. The same for each of us.

Sorry – I’m going on a bit but I am very passionate about people realising that this is the journey; this is the purpose of our life. Simply to find the purpose and discover the amazing, creative and personally powerful people we are. It is a time for women to let go all the stuff from centuries and honour themselves and each other. Like you, I believe in reincarnation and the whole process is a magical journey of discovery with the best prize ever the end of it- peace and love.

Well, maybe if you ever come over to Melbourne to do a talk or just a visit I might get the privilege of meeting up with you.

One final thing. There is a very well known woman in England called Cynthia Payne. The film Personal Services was made based on her life. She ran a very high class house frequented by politicians, lawyers etc. She is so funny, full of life and a fabulous woman. She showed up the hypocrisy of the system and was often interviewed on British TV by Michael Parkinson and the like. Well, in my next life I want to be her!! I’ve already done the nun bit twice in other lives that I know of so the other side of the coin would make a wonderful contrast.

Stay well and loving life

Kind Regards
Jane xx
25/05/2010

Hi Carla, Have finished reading your book. What an amazing achievement! I really have no words to say how truly inspired I am by you..! A lot of what I have read is really helping me. Also it’s very very hot here in the UK. Lovely. I love the sun as I was born in Zimbabwe, I moved to the UK when I was 15 so am really chuffed about the hot weather!

lol. xx
Kim
22/05/2010

Hartelijk dank,

Ik heb genoten van de nieuwsbrieven en de goede tips, ik heb nog altijd bewondering, hoe Carla zo positief inb het leven is blijven staan, want geloven in je zelf is daarbij denk ik het eerste waar je moet satrten.

Met goede tips vanuit het spirituele ,maakt dat het leven in deze hectische wereld, waarin je ziet dat velen de weg kwijt zijn, door welke invloed dan ook , wat betreft vrijheid, liefde ,armoede , rijkdom!

Het je iedere keer opnieuw weer afvragen, waar sta wie ben ik, het blijft stof tot nadenken.

In elk geval ik heb veel boeken gelezen , maar Gods gallgirl blijft een van die boeken, die ik nooit vergeet en in mijn boekenkast blijven staan.

Hartelijk groet,
Marika
13/05/2010

Hello Carla

It was only last weekend at the local library in Batemans Bay that I first heard of you when I stumbled upon your book above on the library shelf. I can’t get it and you out of mind since then. Pleased to meet you.

Kind regards
Michelle
17/04/2010

Dear Carla

Just finished reading your Books Gods callgirl

It’s extremely touching and very good book.

Thanks so much.

You have a new respect from me. Writing this email

I am feeling a sensation (Not the sexual one)

I am honoured that I know someone like you.

Take Care Please

Regards
Prakash
31/01/2010

“LOVE LOVE LOVED the book!

Thanks again for my signed copy, lots a luv xox”

Kate
16/11/2009

I just finished reading ‘God’s Callgirl’. THANK YOU dearly for sharing your life with me and so many. Your life story touched me deeply like none before it. Your pure honesty and spirit took me on a journey I will never forget.

I wish MUCH HAPPINESS, JOY, LOVE and LIGHT on your continued journey.

Vanessa Young

I have just today finished reading your wonderful book “Gods Callgirl“, it has taken me eight months to get to the end, but what an incredible read.

Next month I will be 58, and although my childhood was different to yours, I too grew up feeling so many of the emotions that you write about so clearly and openly.I guess it’s different for a boy, and I got really good at putting up the strong, tough exterior, yet the little boy inside hurt like hell. I can empathise with so much that you write of, I know what it is like to work at trying to make sense of what seems completely senseless, and after many years hard work I too know the inner peace that comes from being happy with who and what I am. Finally throwing away that sabotage mentality.
I found your writing confronting, sometimes putting it aside for weeks before I felt comfortable continuing, I shed many tears, some for you, many for me. I cannot understand how people whom we trust and love unconditionally, can treat children the way they do. I like you, believe that they just do the best they can at the time.
I hope you don’t mind me writing like this, but I really wanted to thank you for your wonderful book, and thank you for so openly sharing your life’s journey.
Take care Carla.
Dennis

I recommend that anyone wishing to gain some insight into the truly appalling potential for damage associated with such abuse, especially when set within the context of a restrictive religious upbringing, read the autobiography “God’s Callgirl” by Carla Van Raay (Harper Collins 2004). The account is not simply heartrending, but fortunately, also a glowing tribute to the capacity of the human spirit to survive and accept adversity in a non-judgmental way so as to achieve freedom and contentment.

Dr David Zentner

I literally just finished reading “God’s Callgirl” and I wanted to express my thanks to you for sharing such a moving story. I felt I could relate to a lot of what you were saying, particularly about feeling alone. I especially liked the quote “we do what we do until we don’t”. It struck a cord in me although at this stage I haven’t figured out why, but it felt positive! Thank you again.

Lauren

Dear Miss van Raay, I have just finished reading your book and wanted to let you know I have never been so moved spiritually and mentally by ones story. You are a wonderful, gutsy lady and one to be admired. Stay Happy.

Allan

It is great that you overcame your problems and have found peace in your life and I sincerely hope that your life continues on in the same way.

Anne

I read your book over two nights – I found the story, the drama, the humour, the anguish, the sorrow, the triumph and the overwhelming realization that here was a person who had truly found herself, to be not only a wonderful read, but, now to have had the bonus of meeting you and knowing a little about the beautiful person you continue to be, that I have been privileged indeed.

My very best to you and I wish you continued success.

David Penglase

I have just completed your amazing book and want to express my sincere thanks and appreciation to you. That you would take so many personal risks of being judged by men and women; that you would be willing to go through all the pain again as you relived your ‘hell on earth’ that you would be willing to share so much of yourself that ordinarily women would not even tell their best friends is very special. You made paradigm-shifts that most do not make in a lifetime. I only hope that catharsis did come with recounting your story. If people think that you have ‘arrived’ it is understandable but I for one hope not and that you are still in process and always will be.

Jean Leenbruggen

I finished reading your book today (only took 2 days…couldn’t put it down!) and I need to say THANK YOU so much for writing it and sharing your life. God’s Callgirl touched my heart, made me cry and also made me laugh. It helped me face demons of my own and think seriously about life for the first time. It would take pages of e-mail to tell you why your book has had such a positive effect on me, but I believe you can understand without explanation. For the first time in years, I feel peaceful. Thank you so much Carla. I would like to give you a huge hug!

Joanne

Good for you Carla! I have now finished your book and I think it was tremendously brave of you to write and publish such a story as well I thought the entire story was brilliant. Your book will bring so much peace of mind to so many. I am posting it to my Mum today, she was raised in an orphanage under similar treatment and now at 72 this is just what she needs to dispel any old demons. A few years ago I was having a personal crisis and one day while out mowing my lawn a thought popped in to my head which is my personal mantra now when ever I feel out of sorts…”You don’t have to fit in, you just have to fit yourself!” Now days I just paint my little heart out and wallow in my good fortune to be doing something I enjoy at long last.

You have a special place in my heart and thoughts. May your life be overflowing with people who love and adore you.

More warm hugs,

Jody

Thank you for exposing the collective ‘sin’ that we all share as Catholics. Even though we ‘lay’ people were not doing the abusing of children or young postulants and novices, we have to participate in helping open the ‘doors and windows’ to what went on ‘behind the walls’.

I commend you for bringing the light into a form of abuse that not many people, Catholic or not would be aware of. The story needed to be told and we have to be honest about our shortcomings and misguided use of power.

As a society we are more comfortable with hiding the truth than facing it. You have signaled the way.

The truth has been exposed, warts and all and then we can all acknowledge it, learn to forgive and then move on. Hopefully it can be a cleansing experience for all of us. ‘The truth will set you free’!

Thank you Carla for being a ‘beacon’ and helping to uncover a dark and unknown secret of the Church.

Margaret

Thank you for being you… Fred Chatelain