Insight Series


New on the planet since June 2018


  • an introduction to The Daily Bread Insight Series as well as a pending book.

Who am I, to write about Jesus, what he stood for, how he has been misrepresented, what his true message and mission was and is? To attempt to ‘save’ him from Christianity?

Haven’t hundreds of scholars of all denominations and also of none pored over all the available documents and made their conclusions? And haven’t their many and varied interpretations created divisions and schisms? Do I want to add to that trouble? Do I want to pretend to join this scholarly crowd with my offerings?

My answer, as I aim to save Jesus from Christianity, is a bit convoluted, but it does explain where I’m coming from, starting with this: The story of Jesus, Mary Magdalen and their teachings can be told from the left-brain analytical mind which  consults the dictionary meaning of the words on the page, while admitting that over the centuries, and over the many translations from Aramaic, Arabic, Coptic, Greek, Latin, German, French to ENGLISH, the Chinese whisper effect just might have created some interesting mis-understandings and therefore mis-translations. These kinds of writings abound. Rachael Kohn’s book The New Believers is one providing a thoroughly scholarly account of many such scholarly writers!

 Dead Sea Scroll

The story could also be told from extreme right-brain fancifulness and poetic, creative expression, such as we find in books like Anna, Grandmother of Jesus by Claire Heartsong; a story full of Light that feels to me as if drawn from the Akashic Records of a parallel universe, not the one we find ourselves in every day. There are many less consistent, less full of true Light than this one. I’m afraid that Catholic bookshops seem to specialise in them.

     And then there are those who channel from a stream that is specifically oriented from and to the spiritual or higher mind, where an aspect of Jesus speaks through the channel. I say ‘an aspect,’ because the consciousness of Jesus could not possibly be channelled as such by any one person – it is too huge, too encompassing of the entire globe; a consciousness of Cosmic proportions. I notice I am being assertive here without saying first, “I think” or “In my opinion” and the like. I will humbly do so now and again, and sometimes I won’t, and the reader will either think me obstinate or proud or something else less flattering, or else feel into what I am saying and see if it resonates with their own inner knowing.

     I want to bring forward what I have discovered from my study, from my experience of 80 years of loving the truth as it was revealed to me, and developing my intuition to channel my own deeper wisdom. This will not result in the ultimate truth – God forbid even the hint of that idea – but it will allow me to put down some less known ideas, clarifications, revelations and emotions which might ignite the sparks of your own inner knowings. These come to your higher mind, up from the lower, where fears and unquestioned assumptions live. Christians are experts at harbouring fears and unquestioned beliefs and assumptions – in fact, they (and I) have been discouraged from thinking altogether as being rather impolite and smacking of disobedience and culpable wilfulness. I know the Christian mentality extremely well, having lived it in all seriousness for 31 years, 12 of them as a Catholic nun.

     To continue on from the fifth paragraph, where I mention channelled material, I have noticed that in recent years there have come forward some solidly integral persons in this field. Among them are Andrew Harvey, Gina Lake, Cynthia Bourgeault and Paul Ferrini. Their written word grips the heart in a certain way that differs from our desire to find a story that fits our prejudices. They speak in a way to open a wonder and awe in the heart; a knowing that the foundation of this information is the unfathomable love our souls recognise. These persons are not just blindly channeling but have long searched the scriptures from the many sources they were guided to find, and meditated long and well on them. They earned their access to the Light also through the way they first lived what comes through them. This, to me, is the test of a channel worth considering: ask, How well do they live their messages?   

Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini

Being an ex-nun does not qualify me to write about Jesus and Mary Magdalen, because during my years as a Catholic sister I lived in terrible ignorance, having grown up in the religion of my parents and extended family, my teachers who were every one of them nuns, except one who was later also persuaded to join the convent. The air of my birthplace was saturated with a faith stronger in its superstitious fearfulness than I imagine even Ireland could conjure. I was ripe for a life hidden away from what I could not in my confused mind decipher, at the age of 18, when I was accepted as a Postulant in Melbourne, Victoria, by the Order of the Faithful Companions of Jesus.

Twelve faithful years I stayed, until it became obvious that I no longer fitted the mould, and dared to leave without any money, and just one dress, some underclothes, a coat and a hat. It was the middle of winter, June 1st, 1969, the day my mother turned 57. My father was disgusted with me, “Is nothing ever good enough for you?” As I mention in my memoir God’s Callgirl, he had just lost his insurance with God for a good spot in Heaven.

My Catholic background qualifies me in this way: I know at least what it was like to be completely indoctrinated, controlled and suppressed by Catholic teachings. I know what it is like to live from the letter of the law, which is all the Church could teach from the Vatican, the Catechism and the pulpit, and miss out almost entirely on the nurturance of the truth of God.

I now know that nurturance is what Jesus came to teach, among other things. He came to bring the energy of the feminine to our consciousness by first living it himself, and by respecting and including women in a way that scandalised those around him, because in his day and country, women were considered not even of the same human race as men and worse than second-class citizens. It took me a long, long time to get to know the real Jesus better, and there came a time when I realised with a shock that Christianity had nothing to do with the true message of Jesus. Worse, it had twisted the truth of what he taught to an unimaginably deceptive degree, and completely denied to the world for the last two thousand years, the truth that truly saves. I say ‘unimaginably deceptive’ because it is truly hard to imagine the culpable evil of that act, the persistence of lying to so many earnest and well-meaning people, robbing them of their heritage.

In spite of that, what has come down to us via the canonical gospels of the sayings and teachings of Jesus, even though translated by those who knew no better than what was already in their minds and therefore could not help but write what they interpreted, has had a tremendous influence for good, inspiring charity around the globe in massive waves of kindness. Where would the world be without the generosity of spirit of the thousands of nuns and inspired lay persons who spend their lives in service of the wellbeing of others? As a matter of fact, governments as well as Church depend on their unselfishness to save themselves masses of money and in the latter case, even to make it money, as well as grant the Church prestige, faithful adherents and converts. 

I left religion when I was 31 and since then have sought the truth restlessly. I did not stay long whenever I came across contradictions and sects all claiming themselves to have the only true religion, no matter how many followers it had gathered, and did not pay too much respect to philosophies that branched out in many separate ways, feeling the coldness of rationalism. In Buddhism I recognised the value of many of its heartfelt teachings. I was nevertheless appalled to see Buddhist nuns shave their heads the way we nuns did in denial of our femininity, as believed to be necessary for living a holy life. I deeply respect the gentleness and humour of true Buddhism exemplified by His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

The books written by Madame Blavatsky and Alice Bailey I bought in 1970 were just too big for me to absorb, and even though I treasured them, I gave them away. In the early ‘seventies, my then partner Henry brought home a book that fascinated me for its different take on the norm: The Nature of Personal Reality, the first of the Seth Material books channelled by Jane Roberts. I read all of her books and tried to see her in 1983, the year she died, but Jane was already too sick to speak to anyone. I realised this as I stood before the gate of her house and decided not to knock on her door. I gathered much that was true and some things that were also true but not in the same way as you or I would describe truth. There were times when the Seth stories did not belong to our earth’s current timeline, such as those he cited from the life of Jesus – at least, that is my observation. It doesn’t sit well with me when the utter humanity of Jesus is being downplayed.

I write from my own perspective after my many years of searching and gradually discovering the importance of Jesus and Mary Magdalene for my own heart’s wellbeing and for the wellbeing of the world. I have so misunderstood both! I have been an extremely slow learner. It’s about time that a person who joined the Faithful Companions of Jesus but never actually felt the reality of the Being of Jeshua, now is beginning to feel it difficult at times to even write in my journal what I feel – such immense gratitude, tenderness, knowing that I am deeply forgiven and loved. Such wonder at how Jesus loved, how we human beings, bearing the mark of the Father in our deep self, are loved by him. He offered Christ Consciousness then and now wants to gather us, as he did long ago when he wept over Jerusalem, knowing its fate for having rejected him. You can feel his heart-break in these words:

  “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” Matthew 23:37-39 English Standard Version.

Are we becoming wise enough in our time to finally ask ourselves what is the Christ Consciousness of Jesus? Have we become astute enough to recognise that we will not find it in institutions built on and by misogynous males, nor in any teachings designed to control instead of liberate?

The revelations of Church hypocrisy have sent us reeling in recent times, as we became aware of the abuse of the sacred trust placed in priests through their sexual violation of thousands of children. To find out that this has been going on for so long, and with full knowledge of a hierarchy who did their best to hide the fact (and is desperate to do so still) rather than address it. That in fact, there were abusers among their highest ranks. This should make us think very carefully, at least. What on earth is going on in the Churches that this is allowed to happen? That it would still be happening except for some brave judges finally daring to believe the victims and placing them above the machinations of legal avoidance?

Enough said for now. This introduction is already longer than intended, but at least it’s all been said now, to give you an idea of what is to follow.

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May you walk in peace and Light,

Carla, author, furthering the evolution of conscious love.

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